“The cool refreshing droplets splashed on my cheeks.
I walked,
And walked, And walked,
Not knowing where I was going.
The trees swayed as a chilly spring
Gently caressed their branches.
A cute white rabbit scampered
Across a wide open field.
He stopped in front of me in a
Patch of emerald.
He had a quizzical look on his furry little face.
He wiggled his ears,
Crinkled his nose,
And scratched his whiskers like
An old man.
I started to laugh.
He ran off into the distance
Looking like a pearl in a patch of seaweed.
The cool refreshing droplets splashed on my cheeks.
I walked,
And walked, And walked,
Not knowing where I was going,
I saw a family of ducks on a lake,
I stopped to look,
Mama Duck first,
And all the little ducklings gliding
Behind her in a single file.
They were dancing to the music
of the rain tapping on water.
And then I was my own reflection on
the mirror-like surface of the lake
And for a moment…
I was the only creature around.
The cool refreshing droplets splashed on my cheeks.
I walked,
And walked, And walked,
Knowing where I was going.”

- Joanne Stefani Germanotta

Death is something that not very many people understand, or simply they just do not want to know what will happen to them after their lives here on Earth. “The ultimate unknown”, the most worst fear a human can have with their imaginative minds is something that has many theories. Religious people believe in Heaven. Other people think they will live on a different plain of existence after this life. I believe I have figured out what happens when we die.

Nothing. There is absolutely nothing after this life. That’s one of my theories. The other is, when you die, your past life and all of your mind and emotions are completely erased.  You’ll be like an empty shell. You may be conscious of yourself at this time, but you won’t be able to even panic or do anything because you have no mind. You won’t have any concept of time, emotions, etc. Eventually, you will be reborn as a new person not knowing anything about your previous life. Then the cycles will keep continuing.

I’m unsure whether a very small part of a previous life/lives can somehow remain in your mind, maybe that can explain why people get déjà vu when they have never been to a certain place before. What are your thoughts about this?

Do you judge a book by its cover? Do you make your own assumptions about people without actually knowing them? If you do, I seriously hate you for what you do. A friend of mine and I were out driving. Someone who we hadn’t seen in a long time we had seen as we drove past them. My friend says “look at him, that dumb fuck!” I’m like, “how can you say that? You don’t even know him any more. That’s very immature of you to say that.” My friend was disgusted at me because I didn’t feel the same way.

If I ever saw my “dad”, I would act like he was anyone else on the street, a complete stranger. I would be helpful or whatever. I would never lower my standards to his or in fact, anyone else’s low standards. I am in control of my own actions and any action I do will have its own consequence.

Another example of how I act to things, was when I first started by current job. The chef was a complete mean fuck, and used to shout abuse and god-knows what at me. I never, ever replied and shouted at him when he was like that. I took it, yes, but no-one could ever say I was at fault because I never raised my voice at him. I was not in the wrong, and I was not willing to put myself in the wrong either. Regardless of the reason for his anger or frustration, he had no right to act the way he did. If he had problems at home, he should have left them there. Eventually, there was a staff meeting without the chef and people aired there grievances about him to the manager. The chef was given three warnings and told if something like that happened again he would be “let go”. If I had shouted back at him, I could have those warnings too, but I didn’t.

I just wish people would learn how to reverse the argument and find how it’s like to be shouted at if they shout at people or whatever. I think the question “How would you feel if that happened to you?” should be applied here. “Would you want to be shouted at?” “Would you like if someone said something mean to you?” They’re easier ways to handle an argument or in fact, anything. If you would actually fully think about what is actually happening, and think about what you say before you say it, you would be far less of an angry person and more aware of people who act immature.

That’s it. I’m done. I don’t want to express my feelings about this subject any more, but feel free to comment.

~

(Side note: Call me self-centered, or whatever you want, but in reality, it’s you who is self-centered for allowing yourself to get so angry in any situation.)

We can’t go on like this, you’re hurting me. The first few weeks as boyfriends were good. Happiness seems so far away now. But one day last week, I said things that I don’t mean and you got angry at me. I can smell the alcohol on your breath as you walk in from a night out. I whisper, pleading “please be calm”. I can see that pure greedy hate in your eyes. You slap me across my face. I whimper as I try to get away. You grab my hair and drag me back. “Come here, bitch”, you growl. Tears are rolling down my face as you slap me again. You wrap your arms round my waist and drag me upstairs. I scream, but nothing comes out. I kick and scream as you forcefully hold me so very tight.

You throw me onto our bed and unzip your trousers. You mumble something. I fall silent, I’m too afraid of what might happen if I don’t. I know your gun is nearby. I lie there looking outside at the moon on this cold, clear night as you rape me. I feel this absolute horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. “How can he do this to me?” “Does he not love me?” I begin to sob.

After about what feels like a lifetime, you begin to slow down and fall asleep on top of me. I push you to the other side of the bed. I grab a suitcase and begin packing all of my things. I look over at the picture of the two of us on the dresser. We were so happy that day in the park. I drop it on the floor and smash it. I pick up my suitcase and go downstairs. I open the front door. I take one last look upstairs as a tear rolls down my face. “Never again”, I whisper angrily. I close the door and put my suitcase in the boot of the car. I get in. I drive off, crying..

(Note: this story is fictitious)

(Originally posted on KeithFeeney.com at 09:49h on October 26, 2009)

I’ve watched a few sci-fi movies lately, when the “alien” lands on Earth in a major city or whatever, it is usually welcomed by guns and bombs being pointed at it. That doesn’t seem very welcoming. If we think of aliens, we think they are going to invade us and either enslave us or kill us. Look at movies like “The Day The Earth Stood Still”, “War of the Worlds” and “Cloverfield”, they all show the humans as the bad ones.

I’m not saying that I believe in aliens or that they intend on invading Earth, but humans’ answer always result is some sort of war. Look at the Iraq War for example, that’s a war between the USA/UK and Iraq, and has been on-going nearly 7 years. I’m sure the US President(s) said there were no other options, but I completely disagree. Humans just seem to want or feel the need to rule over something/someone and they will do pretty much anything to get it.

If aliens did want to invade Earth and they were not hostile, we would try to examine them and open them up for a better understanding. Now, let’s reverse that, we have just landed on another planet, the creatures outside have weapons aiming right as us. They seem nervous, amazed and anxious. We leave our spaceship. They don’t know what we are capable of doing. We are suddenly enclosed in, what seems like a glass box and transported somewhere. The aliens interrogate us, but we cannot understand them. Then they open us up and see our hearts, lungs, bones, muscle. Then we die. Do you want that? I didn’t think so.

I seriously doubt any being would want that. Then why do we offer it? I think humans will eventually kill themselves off. How? Maybe a number of World Wars could do that. Are we heading towards that? I really, really hope not. I hope we can change.

From the 1st to the 11th of January this year, Ireland had a “Big Freeze”, we had an (almost record) low temperature of -10ºC/14ºF where I live. Normal temperatures for Dublin are between 4ºC to 8ºC (39ºF to 46ºF) for January. Today, the 15th of January, we have a highly daily temperature of 11ºC/52ºF. My point is that the average temperatures are completely out of sync with the actual current weather. Could this be a result of “Global Warming”?

Scientists say global warming is a result of people using fossil fuels, “greenhouse gases”, etc. To be perfectly honest, I’m unsure if I believe in what they say. For example, the last ice age was 2.4 to 2.1 Ga (billion) years ago, could the Earth just be heating up since then – ever so slowly? Will the Earth reach its maximum hottest temperature before slowly reducing its temperature and eventually creating the next ice age? We can’t really prove whether this is the case or not because humans have not been around for billions of years. Yes, we have “historical evidence”, but is it all true? I don’t know.

Also, I don’t believe humans where ever meant to live on this Earth for all eternity, maybe the Earth is just trying to survive in its own way, and maybe wants to start over by causing everything on the surface of it to cease to exist, hence “global warming”.

Dinosaurs are clearly gone for good, but they only lived for about 165 million years on this planet we call home. Humans have only been on this planet for about 200,000 years. Do we only have 165 million years on this Earth? Is that the maximum number of years that any dominant creature has on Earth?

What do you think?

Just a poem for today, something I began by thinking of Karma:

You need to stop now
Stop making me so annoyed
Your blood will be flowing
You should be destroyed.

Don’t fuck with me now
It’s not who you are
I can’t take all this bullshit
We’ve come oh so far

You lied to me. YOU LIED?!?!
You said you didn’t like him
What was I to you?
Just some sort of fling?

You slept with him, didn’t you?
Look at me, for fuck sake!
Bet you feel bad now, huh?!
Oh, is was just a mistake?!

It was just a mistake, he says.
People get hurt, someone like me
Hope that bitch comes for you
Hope your life is not filled of glee.

Go fuck yourself, you cunt!
Get out, get out right now!
This is way out of control
This will be your final bow.

Christmas is about family and friends. BULLSHIT! Christmas is really about presents and how you are up to your eyeballs in debt again for the third year running because you need to get a better present than what you got last year for the people you “love”. This isn’t love, this is greed. Greed on the givers’ part and takers’ part. I have said before how Christmas is about commercialisation and greed. But what should Christmas be about?

Let’s get the meaning of the word; Christmas, noun, Christ’s mass. Old English: Cristes mæsse. So it’s about the guy who was born more than 2,013 years ago and died more than 2,039 years ago. Seems kinda odd to me. The term “Chinese whisperers” comes to mind when I think of religious holidays. The “church” could have easily just said this has happened, when maybe it hasn’t. People believe in aliens, ghosts, sea monsters, Britney Spears being out of the public eye. Just because someone said this is what happened, at this point of time, doesn’t make it true.

Think about it, Christmas started with the pagans, December 24 – January 6th is when they would celebrate their sun gods. December 25 was also the Roman date for the winter solstice. Wait, wait, wait… where does Jesus come into this? It “may have initially been chosen to correspond with either the day exactly nine months after some early Christians believed Jesus had been conceived”. So, wait Christmas has nothing to do with Jesus? So what are we celebrating?

Family and friends? Yeah, right, as if! Go on and get your usual bitchy self, hating that you have to go and see your in-laws and smile polity. Being fake really doesn’t suit you!

I was on Twitter yesterday. I was looking at the public timeline. One user (a guy) said something rude and funny. I replied to him with a smart answer, as you do. A couple of minutes later, he called me a “fag”/”faggot”. I replied again to him with a nice, neutral tone, not wanting an argument.

He kept replying with the hashtag of the day “#ThatsThatBullshit“. One of them was “#thatsthatbullshit that @Kei_Jo like to take it up the ass and will get aids [sic]“, etc. I replied “Yes, I do like it up the ass”. Why lie? And actually, it’s more common for straight people to get AIDS then it is gay people.

My point is that homophobic people don’t want to see past the “being gay” part. It’s like saying all animals are evil, without actually proving it. Maybe it’s due to people being insecure with themselves. Maybe they are unwilling to actually see the person beyond the “gay faggot”.

Really? Seriously? Did you actually think I’d blog about feeling boobs or penises or asses? You disgust me! LOL. No, but what I will blog about this missed feeling that I have.

I feel like I’m at the very early stages of a relationship. I won’t go into too much detail about him, because he’d prefer me not to. But, let’s just say he’s uber-cute and very sexy, and we seem to click, in a way that I’m unsure if this is really happening. I have to keep reminding myself that it is and to trust my feelings a bit more than I usually do.

He really seems to understand me, which seems to be becoming more of a rarity with other people. Whenever I think of him, all I do is smile. He makes me happy. He likes the same things I like and he seems to be easy-going. He was saying to me last night that he’s in it for the long-term, which is so refreshing to hear.

Usually guys that I do fancy or whatever, just want to fuck, but like I’ve said in previous blogs, I won’t just have sex just for the sake of it. Sex should be something special between people who, at least, care for one another.

I really do hope this works out. It might be weird at first for me, cos I’m not used to being in a relationship. But I’m sure it’ll be OK. I just hope he can deal with me.